


You're A Safe Kind of High

by teenageziam



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Christmas, Confessions, Love, M/M, high, ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-11
Updated: 2013-12-11
Packaged: 2018-01-04 07:51:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1078431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teenageziam/pseuds/teenageziam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I never really knew the joy of Christmas until I met you"</p>
<p>Basically Zayn telling Liam how he feels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're A Safe Kind of High

**Author's Note:**

> It's pretty much a monologue. Zayn's speaking to Liam, but you don't really know Liam's there. And I know Zayn doesn't have a brother named Alex, or even a brother at all, but it just fit.

At my house, Christmas meant no boundries. It meant sweaty bodies, loud music, giggling girls, high pitched squeals, secrets whispered into your partners ear in panting breaths, dancing close enough to feel a heart beat, and lots and lots of cigars and alcohol. 

When I was fifteen my dad told my brother "Alex, you haven't been a kind sibling to your little brother. Did you even buy him a present?".

That was the first time I ever got high.

My fingers tingled and I slowly waved them in the air, savoring the moment of pure bliss. 

The feeling was so warm and toasty. It was like being in a movie. Everyone has songs dancing around their heads and they moved so slow and I couldn't hear them talking, but all I could hear was loud voices. 

I couldn't stop thinking. Thoughts flooded through my mind but there were no survivors because I also wasn't thinking anything at all.

But it didn't matter.

I just kept smoking.

That night, I swore my head had left my body. And when I stood up and took a step forward, all I did was move back. 

And it was the best feeling in the world.

But now, seven years later, it's nothing compared to you. 

I still get the tingling sensation; When you're touching me and your hot breath caresses my neck and your lips graze over my own. Sometimes I swear your fingers are on fire and burning my skin but I also hardly notice because all I can think about is how much I love you and when you whisper _that_ into my ear and all I can answer with is silence and the room is felt with your deep breathing like the quiet is suffocating you, I slowly come back down to Earth. 

The tingling has left my fingers and it's taking over my heart. The fire on your fingertips has dissapeared but I can feel where you burned me before. It's just this feeling I get whenever you're around that makes me want to laugh and cry and yell and then I look into your wide eyes and god all I can think about  _still_ is how much I love you. 

I'll try to take a step back and take this all in, but all I'm doing is taking a step forward. It's so similar to being high I wonder if I was just moments before. And maybe it's true. Because I still feel warm and toasty and romantic songs are playing in my head as we start to kiss again.

But the feeling is so much more wonderful with you.

This type of high is so  _different_.

I know I'll never again wander the streets so late at night, lonley and oblivious, so focused on the stars and life and nothing at all when I'm around you; I'll never wake up again, cold and on the floor with a heavy weight in my stomach and my throat choking on the tears I'm trying to hold back.

I know I'll always be some sort of high around you, but it's so much safer and I don't think I'll ever pick up a blunt again. 


End file.
